Hard Conversations and Emotional Intelligence

Breni's Emotional Intelligence path teaches how to handle feelings and hard talks through three books. There are 3 courses: Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg, and Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen. Goleman builds awareness, Rosenberg gives a way to speak without blame, and the Harvard authors show how to manage a tense talk. Learners finish with a plan for one real conversation.

  • 3 courses
  • 34 learning objectives
  • Level: beginner
  • Language: English
  • Price: Subscription, free trial

What you will be able to do

  • Name the parts of emotional intelligence
  • Describe a situation without judging it
  • Turn a complaint into a feeling, a need and a request
  • Separate what someone meant from how it affected you
  • Plan a hard conversation using the three conversations

Full curriculum

Part 1 · Awareness

1. Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman: Understand Your Emotions

Recognise and manage emotions in yourself and others. Units, in order: What emotional intelligence is; Self-awareness; Managing your emotions; Empathy; Social skills; How well emotional intelligence can be measured.

  • — What Is Emotional Intelligence
    Learn the basic meaning and history of emotional intelligence.
    • Defining emotional intelligence
    • History of the concept
  • — Developing Self-Awareness
    Discover how to recognize your own feelings and personal goals.
    • Knowing your inner states
    • Impact on others
  • — Managing Your Emotions
    Practice controlling disruptive impulses and adapting to changing circumstances.
    • Managing emotions directly
    • Self-regulation skills
  • — Practicing Empathy
    Understand other people's feelings to improve your interpersonal dynamics.
    • Considering other feelings
    • Empathy and relationships
  • — Building Social Skills
    Master relationship management and social competence for effective leadership.
    • Managing relationships
    • Role of motivation
  • — Measuring Emotional Intelligence
    Explore the different models and tests used to measure emotional intelligence.
    • The MSCEIT test
    • Other measurement tools

Part 2 · Words and hard talks

2. Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg: Speak Without Blame

Use observations, feelings, needs and requests in everyday conversations. Units, in order: Observations without evaluation; Naming feelings; Finding the needs behind feelings; Requests, not demands; Listening with empathy.

  • — Observations Without Evaluation
    Separate concrete facts from personal judgments.
    • Facts versus Judgments
    • Avoiding Static Labels
  • — Naming Feelings Properly
    Express true emotions without blame or story.
    • True Emotions vs Thoughts
    • Vulnerability in Conflict
  • — Finding Underlying Needs
    Connect behavior to universal human needs.
    • Universal Human Needs
    • Needs vs Strategies
  • — Requests, Not Demands
    Ask clearly with openness to a no.
    • Requests vs Demands
    • Clear Positive Action
  • — Listening With Empathy
    Listen with your whole heart and presence.
    • Empathy of the Heart
    • Emptying Your Mind

3. Difficult Conversations by Stone, Patton and Heen: Talk About What Matters

Prepare for and hold a hard conversation using the three conversations. Units, in order: The three conversations; Separating intent from impact; From blame to contribution; The feelings conversation; The identity conversation; Starting from the third story.

  • — The Three Conversations
    Discover why hard talks are difficult and learn the three deeper parts.
    • Why We Avoid Hard Talks
    • The Three Hidden Layers
  • — Intent and Impact
    Stop assuming you know what others meant and look at real impact.
    • Impact Versus Intent
    • Ask About Intentions
  • — Blame to Contribution
    Shift away from blaming and map out joint contributions to problems.
    • Stop Assigning Blame
    • Map Contributions Together
  • — The Feelings Conversation
    Understand, negotiate, and share your emotions clearly and safely.
    • Unpack Hidden Feelings
    • Share Emotions Clearly
  • — The Identity Conversation
    Protect your self-image and use adaptive thinking during hard talks.
    • Protect Your Identity
    • Adopt Adaptive Thinking
  • — Starting from the Third Story
    Open hard talks neutrally, listen well, and solve problems together.
    • Open With Neutral Stories
    • Listen and Solve Problems

Sample: Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman: Understand Your Emotions

The opening tier, (What Is Emotional Intelligence). Learn the basic meaning and history of emotional intelligence.

Defining emotional intelligence

Understand the ability to perceive, use, and manage emotions.

History of the concept

Explore how the term emerged and gained popularity through Daniel Goleman.

Questions about Hard Conversations and Emotional Intelligence

What are the parts of emotional intelligence?

Goleman's model includes self-awareness, managing your emotions, motivation, empathy and social skills.

What are the four steps of Nonviolent Communication?

Observations, feelings, needs and requests. You describe what happened, say how you feel and what you need, then ask for a specific action.

What are the three conversations in Difficult Conversations?

The "what happened" conversation, the feelings conversation and the identity conversation. Every hard talk has all three at once.

Is Breni affiliated with the authors?

No. Breni is not affiliated with Daniel Goleman, the Center for Nonviolent Communication, Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen or their publishers.

Do I get a certificate?

Yes, finishing all 3 courses earns a Breni certificate of completion.

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